Radio Ga-ga? More like Radio Goo.

A = guy, B = ex-wife, C = some girl.

A is hurt and tormented by his divorce with B and can never fall in love again, or so he claims. C is in love with A, and B misses A and wants him back. C thinks love is all about sacrifice and stuff, so she tries getting them back together. B is aware that C is in love with A, and that A is also in love with C, only he doesn’t know it yet. And she also, to some extent, tries to pair them up. A knows C is in love with him. But because of the previously mentioned hurt and torment, he ignores it. Oh! And then in the midst of all this, C’s entire family believes A is C’s boyfriend and is arranging for them to be married soon, because of some misunderstanding that occurred a while ago and no one had the guts to rectify it.

Confused? Yeah, so were we. And we were actually watching it unfold before our eyes, without any analogy of this kind that I presented to you. THIS, ladies and gentlemen, in a nutshell is the absolutely messed up plotline of what has to be one of the most ridiculous movies I have seen EVER. There are bad movies, and then there is Himesh Reshammiya’s “Radio”. Not that I went in expecting any better, but it was so bad, it needs an entire post to trash.

Before I begin and before you guys ask me what possessed me to go for the movie in the first place, I’d like to say this – one advantage of dating a radio jockey is that almost every week we watch a movie first day-first show free of cost, so that he can review it on his show. Of course, this works as a disadvantage too, when he absolutely HAS to watch even the worst ones as part of his job. I realize that I am not obliged to go with the boy on such occasions, and that I am perfectly free to stay home. But then I’m a nice person and besides, we don’t get too much of free time to just chill and be anymore. So, I go along to spend some time with him and to give him company (misery loves that, apparently).

From the very first scene of the movie, we looked at each other with an “oh-my-god-what-IS-this?” expression. It starts with a ridiculous “it’s complicated” stamp like thing and a caption thing – “Chapter 1: Divorce aur Ganpati Bappa”. Yeah, the entire movie is told over many such chapters, with equally ridiculous names. The whole “it’s complicated” stamp made no sense to us at all, and neither did the problems faced by the characters. They weren’t real or big enough to actually be considered at all. The biggest drawback of Shanaya Dhingra (Shehnaz Treasurywala), according to the narrator (RJ Vivaan, played by Himesh Reshammiya himself) is that she’s a Facebook addict. Not her psychotic family, coupled with the fact that she has the ability to annoy you with the mere sound of her voice. Oh and the second biggest drawback? The fact that she says “bhot” instead of “bahut”.

Another thing totally pissing off about the whole thing? (Well, not so much to me since radio is not my industry. But it was still appaling to know how underhanded and cheap it was) – The fact that Ghanta Singh of Radio One was totally ripped off in Paresh Rawal’s Jhandu Lal Tyaagi. My boy was indignant - he was cursing loudly and calling everyone at work to let them know what had been done!

Acting is horrible by EVERYBODY, there is not a single saving grace. And brand placements are as forced and disconnected as they get.

RJ Shanaya (on air): ‘Love karo bhai, aur kuch nahi toh Kurkure khao’. Ex wife sitting in car listening to radio: ‘Gadi roko. Mujhe Kurkure khaana hai!’

Vivaan: ‘Yeh dish antenna badal dalo yaar! Paise main deta hoon! I’m not a dish antenna mechanic, I am a radio jockey!’


UGH.