All I Ask Of You

All I ask of you, is a little patience. All I ask of you, is a little time. All I ask of you, is a little understanding. You say this is it. But what if it isn’t? There is a whole world of opportunity out there which we might miss out on, if we let ourselves succumb to the feeling now. I like you, yes. But I need to know what is out there. I like you, yes. But I need to be on my own for now, to rediscover myself, to re-determine my worth. It is something I need to establish on my own. Most of my teenage life, I spent with someone by my side. I used to think of myself as independent, but soon my thoughts automatically translated into “WE” instead of “I”

“We’ll be there at 7.” “We’ll go shopping.” “We’ll get you something nice for your birthday.” “We didn’t like the movie.” “We prefer Chinese food over Italian.” – Little things, but ones that had sharp undertones of the kind of person I was becoming. I slowly lost me. His likes became our likes, his dislikes turned into our dislikes, his interests developed into our interests. All this, involuntarily. I never planned on reorganizing my thoughts to suit his, or rearranging my likes to sit better with his. It just happened with time. And after it was over, the hardest part was losing the “WE”

There were so many things I couldn’t figure out for myself. From little inconsequential things like, favorite fruit to life altering things like, career, I found myself questioning my choices. I wasn’t used to feeling like this – incomplete and lost. However, this time round, I know I need time. Time to discover and retain my thoughts, my views; time to know what I want and how I want it; time to reevaluate and figure out if I really do like the things I insist I like. I realize now, that I need to know “I” better, in order to be a successful “WE” And I’m slowly getting there, I can tell you this much – I know now that I favor Italian food to most others, including Chinese. But in order, for me to fully accomplish my journey of self realization, I need you to understand my need for time and patience. Wait for me, that’s all I ask of you.